A mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes

Originally posted Friday, August 1, 2008 at 7:15pm

Part the Third of my monthlong adventures in Guadalajara.

Last Saturday i went downtown to see the famous Ballet Folcórico de la Universidad Autónoma de Guadalajara at the historic Teatro Degollado . Now, I don't know much about "folkloric dance," but I do know there were a lot of strange costumes and props in that show. At one point some dancers came out wearing bulls and their heads and stampeded at the other dancers. The bulls also seemed to have light-up wheels on their sides for some reason. It was almost like something out of the book of Ezekiel. Anyway, if you're ever in Guadalajara, it's sort of interesting, although it probably would have been more fun if I hadn't gone by myself. You should also buy tickets early if you want the cheap seats.
I have been getting better at using the public transportation and managed to get home with no problem this time. The buses stop running at 10 pm, but the subway goes up to 11.

I also went back to the Cathedral to buy more stickers, and my notebook now has on it three pink hearts which say "Feliz Día," "Te Quiero," and "Pienso en Ti," respectively. (Happy Day, I Love You, and I'm Thinking About You.) A couple days later I finally caved and bought a towel at the Great Satan (Wal-Mart). No traveller should be without one.

There are some strange shows on Mexican television. One of them is a game show called "Asgaard" which was inspired by The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings. Two teams proceed through a forested gameboard and interact with people dressed up as pixies and magicians, who give them bizarre challenges to perform in pursuit of silver coins. Landing on a blue square equals a fun challenge. Landing on a red square equals a visit to the creepy goblin dude and his dwarf henchman, and an unpleasant challenge.
There is another game show called "Aguas con el Muro" which is much simpler, but no less ridiculous. Contestants wear shiny suits and helmets and stand at the edge of a pool, while a wall comes at them with some sort of shape cut out of it. If the contestant can fit his or her body through the opening successfully, he or she avoids getting knocked into the water and earns points for his or her team. Repeat this scenario ad nauseam.
I discovered "Asgaard" on my own, but I must say that Javier watches a lot of TV. At one point last week I decided that we needed to talk about his television choices after I sat through "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo." I had never seen this alleged "movie" before, but I am pretty sure it sucks just as much in English as it did in Spanish. My favorite film critic, Roger Ebert, gave it a grand total of zero stars, which is probably a tad generous.
Having previously watched "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" in the Plaza Galeria, a three-story mall near my house in Guadalajara, I saw most of the original film on TV last week. As a result, I would like to offer the following observations about the Guadalajaran director, Guillermo del Toro:

1) there is a scene in "The Golden Army" where Hellboy and his esteemed colleagues visit the troll market. Ebert surmises that this scene was inspired by the cantina scene from the original Star Wars film. It also seems likely to me, however, that del Toro has visited San Juan de Dios a few times.

2) Guillermo del Toro has a thing for enormous octopus creatures.

(That shouldn't give anything away, I don't think. Incidentally, I recently discovered that Wikipedia has a policy whereby it is not considered acceptable to delete information from an article just because it spoils the plot of a book or movie. I really think Wikipedia has it all backwards. It's not acceptable to spoil the plot just because you think the world needs to know that they all die in the end. I don't want to know that, OK? I don't want to know that the little boy is really the old man's father.)

After my roommate Javier and I watched the original Hellboy, a boxing match came on, which I wouldn't ordinarily watch at home, although as you can probably tell I have watched a lot of things here that I wouldn't ordinarily watch. A Mexican named Antonio Margarito scored a TKO over some Puerto Rican boxer in the 10th round to become the welterweight champion of the world, but as I told Javier in the eighth round, if Margarito were a very large octopus, he would have already won.
And ever since then, I have been unable to stop picturing Javier as a giant Mexican octopus with a moustache, trundling home from school in a white lab coat and sitting on his bed, holding the remote control in one tentacle and texting his girlfriend with the other seven. Every now and then he takes out his anatomy textbook with four of his tentacles and studies it.
I guess it is probably a good thing he is NOT a giant octopus, though. It may give you a big advantage in the taking over the world department, but it is probably a pain having to wash all your tentacles before every meal.

I need to be a lot more careful about hygiene and about what foods I eat, since it is very common for travellers to get sick here, and it has already happened to me. Not only tap water, but also ice should be avoided, as well as fresh cheese and raw fruits and vegetables, if you are not sure whether they have been washed or you haven't peeled them yourself. Lately I have started using an antibacterial hand lotion that I took with me from home. The only problem with this product, however, is that it leaves glitter on your hands every time you use it. And this is not in an apologetic, we-found-a-really-great-way-to-kill-bacteria-on-your-hands-but-unfortunately-the-formula-leaves-glitter-everywhere kind of way. I am clearly not the target audience for this product, since it tells me about the glitter as if it were a good thing. I disagree, and so I have to wash my hands after I use it.
Also, the hand lotion is supposed to smell like blueberries, which I think is accurate, if by blueberries you mean stale Play-Dough.

As far as unfamiliar foods and drinks go, agua de horchata is quite common. It's a drink made from rice, almonds, sesame seeds, barley, or tigernuts, and it's pretty much my new best friend (sorry, Anthony). Also quite common is agua de jamaica, which is made from sort of flower. The word for cake here is "pastel"; you might be used to using the word "torta" for that, but tortas are sandwiches. A lot of places here serve tortas ahogadas (drowned sandwiches), which have sauce on them. I have not yet tried the tacos de cabeza (head tacos). I heard they are made with cow brains, but I don't know if that's actually true.

Earlier today I went on an excursion with most of the other international students here to the city of Tequila, which is where they make the drink of the same name from the blue agave plant. We got to try a couple of (very small) free samples of different kinds of tequila, plus some sort of pre-tequila concoction which burned like the devil and probably ranks among the top five worst things I have ever put in my mouth. We also got to try eating a few different things (raw agave, which is kind of like eating a raw potato, except not), and something else that was sweet and very fibrous (ordinary sugar cane, or maybe some other part of the agave, I'm not sure). At the end of the tour we got a free margarita. I also bought a bottle of agave syrup at the gift shop, which I'm hoping is good on pancakes.
The syrup, I mean. I wouldn't try to eat the gift shop.
Tequila is an important part of Mexican cultural identity, and Mexico tries to maintain its status as a geographically identified product, which can only be sold under that name if it's produced in the state of Jalisco or a few other parts of Mexico. Now, I'm no Mexican alcohol manufacturer, dear reader, but if I were, I would circumvent this problem by calling my product "I Can't Believe It's Not Tequila!"

I should mention that I don't regard drunkenness as part of a moral lifestyle, and with the exception of this excursion and the communion wine at church I have not been drinking at all in Mexico, although it is legal for me to do so. Incidentally, the alcohol commercials here don't say "Drink Responsibly," the way they do in the U.S. They say "Evita el Exceso" (Avoid Excess) or "Todo con Medida" (Everything with Moderation). I thought this was sort of odd on a commercial celebrating the fact that their beer is now available in larger bottles.

Ephesians 5:1-2, 15-21

1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.